Av: The Wholeness of Brokenness

Av: The Wholeness of Brokenness

July 23, 2020 - In: Monthly Energy

The name of this month tells us that whatever happens in this month, even bad things, will ultimately be for good. Life is challenging for me and many of us these days. It is my prayer that these teachings will guide us to access and embody the love and peace ever-present deep within us even in the midst of the challenges we each face this month.

We welcome the new month of Av on Wednesday July 22nd.Av means "Father" In Hebrew. The father is the symbol of love and giving in Judaism. The name of this month tells us that whatever happens in this month, even bad things, will ultimately be for good. The Hebrew letter Tet is the letter associated with this month. Tet is the first letter in the word "Tov" also confirming that this month will ultimately be a good month. Life is challenging for me and many of us these days. It is my prayer that these teachings will guide us to access and embody the love and peace ever-present deep within us even in the midst of the challenges we each face this month. Once again, these ancient Kabbalistic teachings seem relevant for people today.

The month of Av offers us the challenge and spiritual opportunity to fix our hearing in relation to ourselves and in relation to our conversations with others. We are better able to listen to others if we can listen deeply and lovingly to ourselves. If we take time to meditate and center ourselves, we will be better able to hear that voice of the soul within us. One of the ways to discern the voice of the soul from the voice of the ego is that the soul generally will offers a message of love, hope and peace.


We live in a time when it is becoming difficult to converse with people who have a different political perspective than we do, so learning to truly listen is so important. During this month, in conversations with others, it is important to listen to what is said and what is not said, but implied in silence. Be particularly mindful to not jump to conclusions or judgements. Ask for clarification respectfully if it will be helpful in understanding what is being said. One must exercise extra care, especially this month, to not be reactive and judgmental. Make a conscious effort to respond to all with generosity, love and compassion from your heart and soul. Be particularly mindful this month to refrain from gossip or speaking negatively about others and even oneself. If we need to say something to another that may in any way be perceived as criticism, we should do it directly and respectfully, and only if we feel that person will be able to hear what we have said and it will be helpful to them. So much unnecessary pain is caused by speaking without considering the effect our words will have on others.

Physically, Av is one of the hottest times in Israel and in many places in the world. The heat is reflected on the emotional and spiritual planes as well. It may be helpful to know that people may be more prone to be argumentative and defensive during the first half of the month. So we need to listen carefully and demonstrate patience and compassion with ourselves and others. People are generally hurting more this month than during other months. They may not even know what is the spiritual root cause of their pain.

The month of Av contains within it the lowest and most sad day of the year, Tisha B'Av (Wednesday July 29- July 30th) and it also contains within it the highest and most joyful day of the year, Tu 'B'Av (sunset, August 4th-5th). Tisha B'Av is a day of Jewish and world tragedy. It was not just that the First and Second Holy Temple in Jerusalem were destroyed on this day, but many other terrible pogroms and persecutions throughout Jewish history occurred on this day as well. World War I began with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand on this day as well. That act on Tisha B'Av set the stage for Hitler and the Holocaust. Tisha B'Av also has personal ramifications as people become more aware of the distance between their needs of their souls and the actions of their personalities. That is why prayer and fasting was instituted for this day as these activities awaken divine mercy.

"The Nine Days" - The first nine days of the month of Av are considered an auspicious time for prayer, for reflection, for feeling the brokenness of oneself and the world. This is an optimal time to slow down, reflect upon your personal losses, the lack of inner and outer harmony in our lives, and create opportunities to share deeply with others, speaking and listening from the heart.

Each human being is potentially a miniature Holy Temple and like the ancient Temple we all are a little broken. Too often people run away from feelings of brokenness, distracting ourselves with food, sex, television, shopping, working too hard, and so on. There is a special invitation during the Nine Days to honor and tune into the depths of your heart and soul. The Nine Days is a time to feel the range and depth of your feelings without blaming others for what has been triggered within you.

When we go deep inside the depths of our personal pain and when we cry out for God, paradoxically our pain is often lifted from us and we feel more whole. When we release the hold that feelings of anger, sadness, grief and hurt have played in blocking the flow of blessing in our lives, we find God has been patiently waiting to pour unconditional love upon us for all who are open to receive.

If you find yourself crying during the Nine Days, that is good. This is not the time to suppress and stifle tears. Tears can open gates of blessing in heaven and within us. There are many kinds of tears. There is unholy crying that comes from thinking negative thoughts. This crying leaves one exhausted, drained, feeling like a victim. This kind of crying is actually an expression of anger turned inward that blocks the flow of healing and blessing to oneself. We feel worse than we did before we cried. There is however another type of crying, that I call holy crying, that comes from deep in the soul. These are holy tears like a portable mikvah that cleanses our soul and opens our hearts. When they flow through us, they purify, heal and strengthen us. It is helpful to distinguish between these two styles of crying so as to facilitate a shift within oneself to holy tears that are redemptive and cleansing, releasing pain, and opening the heart.

The Talmud tells us "There is nothing more complete than a broken heart." Out of our brokenness, we are open to receive solace and redemption. Through our tears, we see what is essential and true. We gain clarity and vision. We are more vulnerable, open and accessible to others.

God instructs us in the Torah, "Make Me a sanctuary and I will dwell within you." The verse does not say "in it" or "within or among you." The Hebrew is clear, telling us that the purpose of the outer Temple is to experience the presence of God within ourselves. The Temple is a vehicle for the interior experience. God wants to be known within each of us. This is a powerful affirmation to repeat until you hear these words resonate from deep inside, in the space between the breaths. Meditate on these words, particularly during the next two weeks.

During these upcoming Nine Days, let's remember that darkness is a cover for an even greater light that we do not yet have the eyes to see. One light of a candle can light many candles without its own light being diminished. Rekindle the inner fire within and shine your light to the world..

And then let's get ready for the highest day of the year, Tu B' Av, the revelation of the Feminine on Augus t 5th .

Love and blessings, Melinda (Mindy)